A Woman With Many Hats

I have a memory from about five or six years old. I was staying with my Grandma
(Mom's mom) and playing with one of her hats. She had dozens of hats and if those hats were still in the same place as they were then, I could probably line them up in chronological order and tell their amazing story.

I saw hats sporting high domes that appeared almost helmet-like in shape, made of soft felt encircled by satin ribbons. Some hats had fake silk flowers attached to those satin ribbons. I wondered, "why would a lady's helmet be made of cloth and not metal or plastic? And why the flower?"

Looking back to those innocent years, I remember some hats that were less dome-like but still had the basic sleek shape on top. These hats were brim-less and sprouted adornments even less practical than their felt, silk, flower-peppered neighbors. Many hats of this type had a black fish-net that, upon investigation, could be lowered or raised to cover part of the wearer's face. It made me think of a funeral....

Other hats were skimpier still; they were so small and non-hat-like that I asked Grandma why she kept these weird items with her hats. She told me that ladies used to pin (PIN!) these hats to their heads to keep them from falling off (I thought she meant they used the pins to pierce their skulls) and said, " Wow! Fashion can sure be rough on a girl! Bet that hurt!" She patted me on the leg and said something resembling pleasantries while most likely thinking, "my granddaughter is a dumb-ass. Good thing is: I love her, even if she's destined to use crayons for written communication for the rest of her life".

I miss my Granny! (I called her "Granny" once and she told me if I did it again, she would spank me.)

Oh wow, did she have some hats! I found hats that had fake fruit glued to them! I asked Granny (shush, don't tell), "What is going on with the fruit hats?". I told her it reminded me of the Chiquita Banana lady and she said people, at the time the hats were made, were so worried about [the] war that fruit was the happiest subject to talk about (and wear, obviously). I said that it was weird and she looked out the window for a little while. She looked sad.

Some of my favorite hats in her collection were small like the assumed hats that required a piercing to the skull in order to be fashionable. The main difference was that they were not just a fancy hanky. These hats were taller with the same "military-like presence" of the helmets but seemed a bit more suited for a lady. They reminded me of what a nurse would wear but adorned with satin and silk. I think she said my Grampa fought in a war but I didn't listen much. Back then.

I can still smell her sometimes, when I get a whiff of a perfume she used to wear or a soap she once used. And I see her face. Not the confused face her body was wearing the day she died but her "I'm about to get shit done" face. I see the face that used to put sugar in the spaghetti sauce and enlighten me on the benefits of prayer. I see the face that taught me how to sing. I see the face that taught me how to deal a deck of cards Vegas-style: the reverse shuffle that I still use today.

I miss Granny's (shush, don't tell) hats. If I had a place to keep them and a means to find them, I would line them up once again and take another look at the life lessons Granny gave me. . . . . . . .