A Woman With Many Hats

I have a memory from about five or six years old. I was staying with my Grandma
(Mom's mom) and playing with one of her hats. She had dozens of hats and if those hats were still in the same place as they were then, I could probably line them up in chronological order and tell their amazing story.

I saw hats sporting high domes that appeared almost helmet-like in shape, made of soft felt encircled by satin ribbons. Some hats had fake silk flowers attached to those satin ribbons. I wondered, "why would a lady's helmet be made of cloth and not metal or plastic? And why the flower?"

Looking back to those innocent years, I remember some hats that were less dome-like but still had the basic sleek shape on top. These hats were brim-less and sprouted adornments even less practical than their felt, silk, flower-peppered neighbors. Many hats of this type had a black fish-net that, upon investigation, could be lowered or raised to cover part of the wearer's face. It made me think of a funeral....

Other hats were skimpier still; they were so small and non-hat-like that I asked Grandma why she kept these weird items with her hats. She told me that ladies used to pin (PIN!) these hats to their heads to keep them from falling off (I thought she meant they used the pins to pierce their skulls) and said, " Wow! Fashion can sure be rough on a girl! Bet that hurt!" She patted me on the leg and said something resembling pleasantries while most likely thinking, "my granddaughter is a dumb-ass. Good thing is: I love her, even if she's destined to use crayons for written communication for the rest of her life".

I miss my Granny! (I called her "Granny" once and she told me if I did it again, she would spank me.)

Oh wow, did she have some hats! I found hats that had fake fruit glued to them! I asked Granny (shush, don't tell), "What is going on with the fruit hats?". I told her it reminded me of the Chiquita Banana lady and she said people, at the time the hats were made, were so worried about [the] war that fruit was the happiest subject to talk about (and wear, obviously). I said that it was weird and she looked out the window for a little while. She looked sad.

Some of my favorite hats in her collection were small like the assumed hats that required a piercing to the skull in order to be fashionable. The main difference was that they were not just a fancy hanky. These hats were taller with the same "military-like presence" of the helmets but seemed a bit more suited for a lady. They reminded me of what a nurse would wear but adorned with satin and silk. I think she said my Grampa fought in a war but I didn't listen much. Back then.

I can still smell her sometimes, when I get a whiff of a perfume she used to wear or a soap she once used. And I see her face. Not the confused face her body was wearing the day she died but her "I'm about to get shit done" face. I see the face that used to put sugar in the spaghetti sauce and enlighten me on the benefits of prayer. I see the face that taught me how to sing. I see the face that taught me how to deal a deck of cards Vegas-style: the reverse shuffle that I still use today.

I miss Granny's (shush, don't tell) hats. If I had a place to keep them and a means to find them, I would line them up once again and take another look at the life lessons Granny gave me. . . . . . . .

My final essays: have a read, won't you?

Below are my final essays for my composition class. If you have a moment, please read and give any feedback for them. I'm shooting for a 100% in the class and just might make it with your help. Anyone who helps will receive a free cat. (just kidding, you can't have my cats)

Any thoughts on title for these bad-boys? My brain is a bit fried at the moment...


The Benefits of Group Study (exemplification essay)

Studying with a friend or group of friends is a very good idea for three important reasons. To begin, every student grasps material differently due to factors such as age, previous experience, and even language skills therefor a study group functions best with a diverse cross-section of students participating. More mature students tend to take classes more seriously and often have a firmer grasp on the importance of studying. Students with previous experience, either in the work force or prior scholastic endeavors, can bring real-life knowledge to the study table and apply it accordingly to a course of study. Students that possess superior verbal skills can interpret difficult concepts or ideas and simplify them, helping other students succeed. In addition, studying with a group of fellow students is much more enjoyable than simply studying alone. Students are more likely to make the effort to wake up three hours early if they know others will be joining them (one might even surprise the group with breakfast). Group study creates an aura of comradery which can ease some of the anxiety associated with preparing for tests and final exams. Groups can play knowledge enrichment games with pictures or flashcards which is, again, much more fun than playing alone. Finally, studying with a group creates friendly competition which can be quite beneficial to all involved. Comparing ourselves to those around us is a fundamental part of human nature and is a basic building block for success. Discovering the level of comprehension that fellow students possess allows others to aid them in their weaknesses while benefiting from their strengths. A competitive person will usually choose the highest scholastic achievers as his or her study buddies to achieve a higher level of success. In conclusion, study groups are a good idea due to: scholastic diversity benefiting all involved, fellowship among students creating an enjoyable atmosphere, and friendly competition driving individuals to perform at the highest possible level.



Writing (comparison/contrast)

Since beginning my Summer Quarter at Harrison College, my writing style and skills have changed drastically. Three months ago I considered myself a decent writer and I wrote almost daily, either in my blog or for school assignments. I quickly learned, in the first week of Com class, that my writing was unorganized and somewhat incoherent. The first speech I wrote for Presentation Skills earned me a dismal and disappointing B-. Once I grasped the basic formula for writing paragraphs and essays, my writing began to improve, slowly. I no longer considered “free-writing” my desired method of communicating the written word but rather tried to incorporate an outline into each of my writing projects. Then, around the half-way point in the term, I noticed I could make an effective outline in my head for smaller writing projects. My writing improved a bit more--along with my speech grades--and I started to feel more confident that I could succeed. The words were flowing much easier as I could organize my thoughts and ideas in my head before relaying them to the page. I also began to record myself reading my work so I could make last-minute changes if a particular passage or phrase sounded “off”. Now, as I write this very essay, I can look back to three months ago and see the improvements I’ve made and feel confident as I write. I suppose writing is like any other talenct or skill: once the basic concepts are completely understood then improvements can be made. I now feel comfortable incorporating my personality into my projects whereas I didn’t three months ago. If someone were to approach me on the street and ask, “have your writing skills improved since taking Com?”, I would have to reply, “look no further than my grades.”



Fast Food (argument)

There exists, in our country, an ever growing consensus that fast food is responsible for childhood obesity, adult obesity, and the over-all declining health of a nation; each of these facts can easily be deposed. First of all, a child’s health and weight is the sole responsibility of the child’s parents and not of any corporation. Critics of fast food argue that the “Happy Meal” is unhealthy for children and blame companies like McDonald’s when it’s the parents that choose to purchase them for their children. While I agree that fast food is quick and easy, that is no excuse for parents to feed their kids nothing but cheeseburgers, french-fries, and soda. Many fast food restaurants offer healthier choices like apple slices and 2% milk but the problem lies with parents not willing to tell their child “NO”. To expand on that concept, adults are responsible for making healthy choices for themselves as well as their children regarding their weight. A delicious, healthy salad costs about the same as the “evil” combo-meal and takes the same amount of time in the drive-through. Apple slices in place of fries is smart choice for Mom and Dad during the work day because they can be eaten in the car and don’t require short-term refrigeration or re-heating. Some adults go as far to claim they are addicted to greasy food yet refuse to exercise and burn those excess calories. The fault lies, once again, with those personal choices and is not the responsibility of an industry of convenience. Finally, heart disease, diabetes, colon cancer, and a myriad of other health problems are caused by poor choices, heredity, and environmental factors, not the institution of fast food. We know the cause-and-affect nature of poor dietary choices and the healthier alternatives therefor cannot blame a red and yellow-clad clown. The genes we inherit from our parents have an impact on our heath--just as much, if not more--than what we eat so unless your father happens to be an actor in rubber king costume, don’t blame him. That cute little girl with red hair and freckles didn’t put that cigarette in your mouth, force you to work in a mine, buy you a tanning package, or install the asbestos insulation in your home so withdraw the claws already. Let’s bag this issue and realize that class-action lawsuits and government intervention will not make your child a better athlete, will not bring you back to your high school weight, and will not improve your over-all health.